Is it a wedding proposal, or is it a prom date? A good question to keep things in perspective.

In the halls of Hammonton High School, many male students are feeling increased pressure to creatively ask a prospective date in an extravagant (if not romantic) way to go to prom.

“Hey, wanna go to prom?” just doesn’t cut it these days.

And why not? As one of these males looking for a prospective prom date, the initial thought in my mind isn’t the lasting impression that I’ll make while asking my date.  After all, the prom is a date for one night, not a lifetime.

I’m finding, though, that the expectations that some girls have about getting asked to prom go way beyond what I expected. My theory is this: getting asked to prom has a striking correlation with a marriage proposal.  Weddings, and any formal occasion that involves a date and getting dressed up, come with expectations that may have connections as far back as age 5.

Case in point? Junior Danielle Pinto.

“Ever since I could remember, I used to watch Disney movies and have always wanted to have a big fairy tale wedding like in those movies,” she said.

Bear with me as I get into a discussion of girls and weddings.

For girls like Danielle, they have imagined walking down to meet her groom on a white stallion, they have imagined the reception and all the presents. Perhaps they even envisioned the size of the ring that her husband-to-be will give her.

No one can argue that the ring itself becomes something to show off. And, of course, how he proposed.

When a girl is finally asked to be wed by a well-mannered suitor, what is the first thing she shows off? The ring.

What will all of her friends yell and scream and cry over? The ring.

What is that husband-to-be going to be forever judged on? The ring.

What is the story that she will asked to tell over and over during their engagement? The proposal of how he gave her the ring.

In today’s point of view, the ring symbolizes how much the man loves his female companion. The bigger the rock, the greater the “love.” I anticipate that my future fiancee will either gasp in excitement or gasp in disbelief, depending or not if I pick out (or can afford) the ring she’s always dreamed of.

And who decides if that ring is “correct”? Her.

I find it to be the classic double-standard of relationships that woman have the sole power of judgment regarding such matters. It could very well be that the man isn’t financially capable of getting the biggest diamond but also loves his girlfriend dearly. However, if the girlfriend doesn’t feel that the ring measures his “true love,” I fear that he’ll be facing some rocky waters ahead.

This translates directly to my discussion of high school prom.

If a male student asks his date in way that others regard as “lame” (to use teenage vernacular), then his entire high school reputation will be forever tarnished. Let’s face it, girls talk, and especially about prom and major events.

Senior Daniel MacDuff recalls his junior prom proposal and the feeling of regret he had.

“[I] asked through a text message. I later regretted that, because all of her friends were asked in romantic ways,” he explained.

Some girls will look at the way she is asked to prom and measure it how much that male truly wanted to go with her. If she is expecting Hershey Kisses to spell out “PROM?” on a lunch table, and the male simply asks her in the middle of history class, the female population will not be impressed with him. However, if she is expecting Hershey Kisses and he surprises her and arrives at her house with a giant teddy bear and a dozen flowers, then the female population will rejoice.

Of course, I’m generalizing to some degree. I realize that not all girls are like this. However, the reality is that my ideas aren’t that far fetched.

“I definitely don’t want to be that shlep that screws the whole asking thing up,” said senior Matt Parker.

Senior Matt Matro agreed, saying, “The way I ask my date will be something she will never forget…in the good sense…I hope.”

Because of social pressure, male students are called to go above and beyond their dates expectations when they ask them to prom. Is it necessarily fair to put that much pressure on the male escort? Of course not. However, the way society operates is “big is always better.” We see it with wedding proposals on YouTube; we see it with the prom.

Also, what guy would want to be that “shlep” whose reputation is forever ruined because he didn’t ask his date with Hershey Kisses?

The bottom line of this reality is that asking a girl to prom is not equivalent to a marriage proposal. Prom only lasts one night and then the next day it is over. If you make a mistake while asking your date, you still have time to correct it for when it’s the real deal.