Shhh . . . don’t tell anyone: The damaging effects of secrets

Marina Mazziotto, Reporter

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Ever since we were little kids, we’ve learned to keep secrets and tell lies to people, such as parents, friends, and others. Most people will say people keep secrets to keep from getting in trouble, or becoming embarrassed.

 

However, secrets can damage you, and aren’t good to have. According to “How Secrets Can Destroy a Relationship” by Carlin Flora, a woman once had an affair with her coworker. Eventually, the secret was all she could think about, and she even worse, she became pregnant with their baby. She had to get an abortion, which cause another secret.

 

When people keep secrets, they can spiral into even more secrets, and then you’re left with it all eating inside you, trying to live your life around therm, not letting them get out, feeling guilt from them. They can even affect other aspects of your life, such as relationships, work, and your feeling to your own self. Secrets cause stress and anxiety for many people, and can even affect physical health.

 

Like everyone, I have had experience with this. Whenever I began dating a girl, it always took me a week or two to tell them because it was a girl, not a boy, and I was nervous to how they’d react. In school, whenever we’d hang out, I’d always dread seeing them because I was worried one of my brother’s friends of would see us, and tell my brother, and my brother would tell my parents, and they’d get mad at me for keeping it a secret. I would have so much anxiety, and try to make it seem as much as like it was a friendship as possible, and when we did touch or kiss, the constant worrying nagged in my mind the whole time, and I couldn’t truly focus and enjoy the moment at all. When I finally told my parents, it was great, because then I didn’t have to worry or care, and in the future I won’t have to worry anymore since I know they wouldn’t care.

 

That secret made me feel awful, and I didn’t even keep it up for that long. When people keep longer, more serious secrets, it can make them constantly worrying and anxious. Secrets can damage your mental and physical health severely, and when people base their whole lives on secrets, it can destroy them on the inside and outside, affecting their health, relationships, and work.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201703/how-secrets-can-destroy-relationship?collection=1112770

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